Home » English » An Ode to Don Draper

An Ode to Don Draper

I know what you are doing
You Mr Sleek Marketeer
What with your media blitz –
Saturating the airwaves, billboards, and print
And those little perfumed inserts in mail
Tapping into the amygdala, the lizard brain
With seductive sirens in sexy poses
Implying that by wearing your fragrance
Those muses will find me irresistible.

I know what you are doing
Mister Rope-a-Dope Marketeer
Coming up with lofty names
That evoke dreams, and aspirations, and desires, and mystique –
Apparition, Black Sun, and Catalyst,
Contradiction, Decadence and Deep Cool Water,
Eternity, Esprit, and Euphoria.
And that’s only a random sampling till E.

I know what you are doing
Mister Sell-the-Sizzle Marketeer,
Writing copy like Don Draper incarnate
And telling me wearing your product will:
Garner plenty compliments
Give confidence to get through next business meeting
Gives you just the right air of mystery
Allow you to break out of your shell
Impress someone special
Sure to turn heads.

I know what you are doing
Mr Seller of Dreams,
You really think my average nose
Can detect
The major, the minor, the base, the under,
the over, the accent, the top tones?!

And what’s with the exotic ingredients –
Did your mad chemists invade an Indian mother’s pantry
And got hold of her garam masala recipe:
Basil, Cardamom and Ginger
Mint, Tarragon and Turmeric.
Did they then raid Garden of Eden for its
Exotic fruits and flowers and veges:
Bergamot, Chilled Cucumber, and Pimento
Grapefruit, Frangipani, and Lavender.
And you think I don’t know that
Aqua is Latin for just plain ‘ole water?

I know what you are doing,
I know your schemings and machinations.
See as a matter of fact
I will prove that your subliminal campaign has no effect on me –
How about I walk through Macy’s perfume alley
And not buy a thing?

“Sir, would you like to smell our new fragrance.”
Spritz. Spritz.
Sniff, Sniff.
Reminds me of that summer beach vacation.
“Ooh, you smell delicious. Should I ring this up.
It comes with a special gift.”
Yes I’ll take that
and the Sports version, too.

Notes: NaPoWriMo 2013 Day 10  prompt is to write “an un-love poem isn’t a poem of hate…like a poem of sarcastic dislike.”  Still trying to write new poem everyday and the prompt does provide a starting point to try different ideas and explore different forms.

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